Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Questions for Ali Azmat from Monkeys!

So....after the whole Pakistan Idol debacle that took place where Ali Azmat did what he knows best...douchebagginess! Instead of apologizing, Ali Azmat went on a crazy, napoleon-complex infused twitter rant. His latest rant was below.

So with due respect, I took to social media and asked my readers to offer their critique and questions for Ali Azmat.

What resulted was an immediate barrage of emailed, inboxed and publicly commented questions and critique for our little has-been, ruckstar!

It was hard to choose the best ones but my below are some of my favorites:

Dear Ali, Are you upset that your mother didn’t read the label “article may shrink in size” before she put you in the washing machine?

Dear Ali, someone told me you had bad breath. I was APPALLED . That meant someone actually kissed you.

Dear Ali, If Vinnie kissed you, how come you are still a frog? Taddoooooo!

Dear Ali, don’t you think instead of “Jupiters” the name of your first band should have been “Uranus”.

Dear Ali, Why did Brian and Salman Ahmed have to move to the States? Why couldn’t it have been you?

Dear Ali, Is it true that when Vinnie was asked what her two biggest career mistakes were she said “Ali Azmat” and “Ali Azmat again.”

Dear Ali, when is your next album coming out? Wait…no one cares!!!

Dear Ali, When was the last time you thought you were talented? Take as long as you want to answer that question. I know it’s a hard one!

Dear Ali, why do you have more double chins than a Chinese phone book?

Dear Ali, when your 3 month contract with Pakistan Idol ends what would be your next move? Spokesperson for weight loss pills or hair growth treatment?

Dear Ali, where would you hide an elephant if you got it as a gift?

Dear Ali, do you miss your hair? Because I am sure your hair misses you.

Dear Ali, Is it the long term effects of the desi tharra or just bad genes?

Dear Ali. There were 2 million sperms and look who won out. How? Why?

Dear Ali. Have you heard about the 12th commandment? The two that Moses lost. It goes like this. "Though shall have two heads, thy should have only enough blood to run one at a time". Can you explain why you don't have enough to run either?

Dear Ali, us monkeys gave you more “publicity” then you have ever had in the last 10 years. You can thank us later for making you relevant! Douche bag!

Dear Ali, shouldn’t you be drinking DIET pepsi on Pakistan Idol?

Dear Ali, if its called Pakistan idol why are you trying so hard to have an American accent? Its not working bud!

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